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LOAD

by P.H.F.

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1.
Graze your lip upon my knee I’ll fix it later you agree you’re not yourself You can’t see the little things that keep you back so you pretend (CYBERBULLY) don’t you simply love hearing all i have to say don’t you wait with bated breath to know why i think somethings lame (P.H.F.) Talking to myself all day gets lonely when you go away But im your girl, I’ll protect you when im gone, I’ll keep you safer from now on Outside When we go outside Hold my hand and pull me closer Treat me like an angel, treat me like her Its ok, I know its not the same Say it all again into my ear until I go insane (CYBERBULLY) know your only wish is for me to shut up in this moment god just please go fuck right off reasonable request to not want confrontation over every little thing thats fucked up shut my fucking mouth all this harping sounds like larping to me sit around counting down til the world looks like hell im painting
2.
COIL 02:34
Lock up the dogs, the weakest always bails I do the same until I fail Won’t catch me back a second time Its just like don’t care Cos its the same, its all the same I got you muted, she says I’m to blame Its the same, you never change She says its my fault why complain again Let it die, what harm would become from the fall The waste of it all I won’t cry, I won’t shed a single tear I don’t care Cos its the same, the same, its all the same I got you muted, she says I’m to blame Its the same the same you never change She says its my fault why complain again Why complain again
3.
ALL THE BEST 01:56
All the best intentions then again, risk it all, its worth the fall Wait around for now Waste it all I’ve gone too far again Not secure, but soft as fur but when will you learn That all the best parts that you keep so far, and act like you forgot Will you learn all the best parts that you keep so dam far, and act like you forgot So just pretend you’re on the mend and figure out that its over now Will you learn - you break your own heart and watch it fall apart, then act like you’re so hard
4.
ENJOY 02:25
Mi amor, I’ll wipe the floor with my tongue just to please you Just to make you smile, and stay awhile I promise I won’t hurt you Psycho, I can’t help it, I just bounce off every wall Its insane to me that you want me, or anything at all I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve you at all When I’m around you, its the way I get inside my head and just destroy it all I miss you so, you’ll never know, the reasons I won’t tell you Cos you make me smile and all the while I can’t help but to keep you Far away, enough to save you from my every thought Its a shame to me, that you want me, cos I will break your heart I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve you at all
5.
(LEX) So I hard I try, just for you to see it all from my side Just can’t seem to make you feel all that I feel I know this is real Do you know I’m still here? You always tell me each time is the last time I don’t know you no more I can’t let go Always tell me each time is the last time Don’t wanna be this, this hidden secret (P.H.F.) Lost your chance too, cut loose from your god too I confess so much more, so much more than this Not much time for all the things I asked for I want more, more than this - so much more than this
6.
TORSO 03:09
7.
ETERNAL MASS 02:58
Its not so pretty now you want to But it’s so easy now you tried Even though you’re on my side I don’t expect a lot but still its all the time I never thought I knew you that well I never really even tried But now ur gone and outta mind Its all the worst things that I like Its so much easier to love you Its so much easier to lie But now ur gone, but still I try Another year will pass and still its all the time I don’t expect you to remember You never even really tried I see you out its all the time Its all the worst things that I like
8.
I never really thought about the body until it breaks away Come back and say you’re sorry, all somebody wants nearly everyday I know its hard, although a part of you wants to Promise me you’ll lie to me, I try my best but its not use When I’m alone its not easy, I try - try, I don’t, I lie Its not an excuse, its not a reason at all It hurts, the truth, sometimes its better than all Your friends - cos it all ends in tears Its true, not just a few Promise me I’m not crazy, I try my best but its no use I thought it would make it easy, its not the same, I lied Its hard to know what it all means, you try, you don’t, you might, you won’t Just don’t take anything from me, I try, try, I don’t, I lie
9.
BOY 02:37
Boy you went from good to bad, the things that you had drove you wrong Boy you can’t just have your fun, the things that you done, gone and done you Somehow its true, nobody thinks about you Loose at the lip but don’t commit, just take a fucking compliment Say you drive from north to south, but you fell out and went home I want you to take me out, but I don’t dance - I don’t want to Somehow its true, nobody thinks about you Loose at the lip but don’t commit, just take a fucking compliment Take from me my window view, cos I hate you and that’s all I see Go ahead and waste my time, waste your own waiting for me to come home
10.
IM SORRY 02:28
Im sorry for what I’ve done, no better than anyone Im sure you’ll be fine in a seconds time - until then just leave
11.
BUG 02:14
Im the product in your bathroom, I’m the bloodstain on your wall You won’t ever find me outside, I won’t hesitate to call Keep on hiding - you’re still trying Its the whisper in your ear that won’t go out at night at all Stuck inside the human body like a bug that cannot crawl False the start, watch it fall apart You can’t blame me like you do Im just waiting to be let down - all or nothing now Safer than biting down - bleed out now Open up the front door but don’t go outside at all Stuck inside this useless body I don’t ever feel at home Its ok, its just everyday
12.
Semi normal, grip the bar Seeping through your eyelids too Suckered every second, stupid but won’t learn the lesson Check the photograph, your name wrote on the back Nobody will know - I burn, I tear, I throw it all away Since yesterday don’t mean a thing when you never win (REW) I get it suffering like I’m in your dreams again Typing out things I’ll never send With no spine don’t break I bend for you I try to get your voice out of my head Make sure I’m broken and bled out, somehow

credits

released May 3, 2024

Written, produced and performed by P.H.F.

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P.H.F. Auckland, New Zealand

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